During A Recent Panel On The Numerous

Satire Is Traditionally The Weapon Of The Powerless Against The Powerful. I Only Aim At The Powerful. When Satire Is Aimed At The Powerless, It Is Not Only Cruel -- It's Vulgar.

I Believe All Southern Liberals Come From The Same Starting Point--race. Once You Figure Out They Are Lying To You About Race, You Start To Question Everything.

The First Rule Of Holes: When You're In One Stop Digging.

As I Have Pointed Out Time And Again, It's A Hell Of A Lot Cheaper To Send Little Kids To School Than It Is To Let Them Grow Up Into Young Thugs Who Have To Be Sent To Prison, Not To Mention The Savings In The Wear And Tear On The Nerves, Property, And Safety Of The Rest Of The Citizenry.

I Dearly Love The State Of Texas, But I Consider That A Harmless Perversion On My Part, And Discuss It Only With Consenting Adults.