Don't Vote, It Only Encourages Them.

The Desire To Be A Politician Should Bar You For Life From Ever Being One.

My Definition Of An Intellectual Is Someone Who Can Listen To The William Tell Overture Without Thinking Of The Lone Ranger.

I Once Travelled To Adelaide On Emu Airways. I Was 5,000 Ft Up In The Air When Someone Pointed Out To Me That Emus Can't Fly

Don't Buy One Of Those Baby Intercoms. Babies Pretend To Be Dead. They're Bastards, And They Do It On Purpose.

If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be No More Folksingers.