Don't Knock Masturbation. It's Sex With Someone

Taste My Tuna Casserole - Tell Me If I Put In Too Much Hot Fudge.

I Can't Even Make A Leap Of Faith To Believe In My Own Existence.

The Chief Problem About Death, Incidentally, Is The Fear That There May Be No Afterlife - A Depressing Thought, Particularly For Those Who Bothered To Shave. Also, There Is The Fear That There Is An Afterlife But No One Will Know Where It's Being Held. On The Plus Side, Death Is One Of The Few Things That Can Be Done As Easily Laying Down.

I Never Knew What Amazon Was. I've Never Seen Any Of Those Series, Even On Cable. I've Never Seen The Sopranos, Or Mad Men. I'm Out Every Night And When I Come Home, I Watch The End Of The Baseball Or Basketball Game, And There's Charlie Rose And I Go To Sleep.

I Took A Speed-reading Course And Read War And Peace In Twenty Minutes. It Involves Russia.