Don't Clap I'm Not A Jazz Band

I Can't Relax Here. These People Have No Pubic Hair Anywhere. We Have Pubic Hair On The Ceiling.

Then You Get These Articles About How Unhealthy Life Is In The City. You Know; Mobile Phone Tumours - Far More Likely In The City. Well You Know What, So Is Everything Else! Including Sex, Coffee And Conversation.

Home Gigs Can Be Hard Because It's An Odd Collision. More Than Anything, I Feel Self-conscious When My Family Are In The Audience. I'm Doing This Job Which Is Not Quite Acting - Part Of It Is Me, Part Performance. You're Presenting A Cartoon Of Yourself To People Who Know You As A Line-drawing.

I Don't Go To Different Countries To Criticise Their Political System And Tell Them What They Should Be Doing - What Do I Know?

I Feel Very Very Old. My Hair Hurts. I Have Buttocks All Over My Body And I Can't Even Smoke Properly Any More. I Don't Have Lungs, I Just Have Two Poppadoms In Here.