Discourse Is Fleeting, But Junk Mail Is

The Italians Always Made Good Wine, But You Had The Impression They Were Friendly Guys In Straw Hats Running Family Vineyards With Slaves Or Something So That The Vino Was Never More Than Ten Bucks A Bottle.

I Hate The Oscars. The Oscars Make Me Want To Throw Things At The Tv. In The Ancient History Of The Oscars, People Would Go On And Make Political Statements And Get Thrown Off The Stage, But The Last Great Political Statement, I Think, Was When Michael Moore Started Raging Against Bush A Few Years Back. Everybody Booed Him, Even Though I Can't Imagine Hollywood Booing A Guy Who's Bashing Bush. That Was The Last Great Spontaneous Moment On The Oscars.

A Universal Draft Is Most Often The Instrument Of Third World Dictators.

Almost Every Venerable Tradition At A Men's Club Starts Out As A Joke.

The Movies That Are Honored At The Oscars Are Always A Certain Type: Old-fashioned. It's A Bunch Of Well-made, Old-fashioned Movies That Support Our Idea Of Ourselves. They Uplift The Human Spirit. That's Why Horror Films Never Even Get Nominated.