Did You Ever Really Love Her? Not

I Think There's Something Spiritual In A Very Day-to-day, Mundane Existence. It's Impossible To Articulate, And It's Happening Now, Almost Like A Perverse Secret. . . . That's Always Sort Of Fascinating To Me.

I Looked At Other Couples And Wondered How They Could Be So Calm About It. They Held Hands As If They Weren't Even Holding Hands. When Steve And I Held Hands, I Had To Keep Looking Down To Marvel At It. There Was My Hand, The Same Hand I've Always Had - Oh, But Look! What Is It Holding? It's Holding Steve's Hand! Who Is Steve? My Three-dimensional Boyfriend. Each Day I Wondered What Would Happen Next. What Happens When You Stop Wanting, When You Are Happy. I Supposed I Would Go On Being Happy Forever. I Knew I Would Not Mess Things Up By Growing Bored. I Had Done That Once Before.

A More Normal, Mature Way To Think About It [my Work] Would Be, Oh, I Work On Multiple Projects At Once And They Overlap, But The Actual Psychology Of It Is A Lot More Self-abusing.

We Had Loved People We Really Shouldn't Have Loved And Then Married Other People In Order To Forget Our Impossible Loves, Or We Had Once Called Out Hello Into The Cauldron Of The World And Then Run Away Before Anyone Could Respond.

... We Had Once Called Out Hello Into The Cauldron Of The World And Then Run Away Before Anyone Could Respond.