Dad Gave Me Two Pieces Of Advice.

I Knew When I Grew Up, I Always Wanted To Be A Liar, And If You're In Television, You're Lying Because You're Just Pretending To Be Yourself Much Like I'm Doing Now.

Most People Don't Know That I Am An Accomplished Dramatic Actor... But I've Performed In Several Shakespeare Productions Including Hamlet, Except In This Version, Hamlet Lives In An Apartment With Two Women, And Has To Pretend He's Gay So That The Landlord Won't Evict Him.

If I Found A Cure For A Huge Disease, While I Was Hobbling Up Onstage To Accept The Nobel Prize They'd Be Playing The Theme Song From 'three's Company'.

Dad Gave Me Two Pieces Of Advice. One Was, "no Matter How Good You Think You Are, There Are People Better Than You." But He Was An Optimist Too; His Other Advice: "never Worry About Rejection. Every Day Is A New Beginning."

Me A Tv Star? I've Got To Be The Luckiest Guy In The World.