Comedy Is Just Complaining In An Entertaining

Looking At Cleavage Is Like Looking At The Sun. You Don't Stare At It, It's Too Risky. You Get A Sense Of It And Then You Look Away.

That's Why Breakups Take Two Or Three Times- To Build Up Immunity.

They Seal The Subway Change-booth Guy Up Inside This Thing With Bullet-proof Glass, Closed In On All Sides, It's Like Some Kind Of Houdini Torture Tank Of Doom. How Do You Breathe In There? It Looks Like If You Put Your Hand Over The Change Slot, You Could Suffocate Him In Thirty Seconds.

I'll Tell You One Thing, Since I'm Married, Single People Look Absolutely Ridiculous To Me.

If People Would Only Look To The Cookie, All Our Problems Would Be Solved.