Comedy Is Just Complaining In An Entertaining

Why Does That Pharmacist Have To Be Two And A Half Feet Higher Than Everybody Else? Who The Hell Is This Guy? "clear Out, Everybody. I'm Working With Pills Up Here. I'm Taking Them From This Big Bottle And Then I'm Gonna Put Them In The Little Bottle. That's My Whole Job. I Can't Be Down On The Floor With You People."

Sometimes I Think More Creativity Is Put Into Muffin Recipes Than Into The Rest Of Society Combined.

According To Most Studies, People's Number One Fear Is Public Speaking. Number Two Is Death. Death Is Number Two. Does That Sound Right? This Means To The Average Person, If You Go To A Funeral, You're Better Off In The Casket Than Doing The Eulogy.

Let's Face It, The Human Body Is Like A Condominium Apartment. The Thing That Keeps You Really Enjoying It Is The Maintenance. There's A Tremendous Amount Of Daily, Weekly, Monthly And Yearly Work That Has To Be Done. From Showering To Open Heart Surgery, We're Always Doing Something To Ourselves. If Your Body Was A Used Car, You Wouldn't Buy It.

I Love Being A Dad. I Just Love It.