Coffee Is Like A Bra. 3 Cups

I Used To Play Sports. Then I Realized You Can Buy Trophies. Now I Am Good At Everything.

The Key To Life Is Balance, Especially If You Are On A Ledge.

I Have An Air Mattress. It's Great Because If Someone Tries To Suffocate Me In Bed I Can Just Poke A Hole In It And Use It To Stay Alive.

The Boomerang Is Australia's Chief Export (and Then Import).

If I Ever Saw An Amputee Getting Hanged, I'd Probably Just Start Calling Out Letters.