Civilised Adults Do Not Take Apple Juice

Writing Is So Hard. Why Would You Be A Writer If You Weren't Really Good At It? If You Could Be Anything Else, Why Would You Be A Writer?

If Your Sexual Fantasies Were Truly Of Interest To Others, They Would No Longer Be Fantasies.

A Person Who Actually Knows How To Wear Clothes...they Would Look Good In Any Clothes. You See This Especially At The Academy Awards. Even If The Dresses Are Beautiful And Expensive And Important, The Actresses Can't Always Carry Them. Sometimes I Feel Like Saying To Them, "act! You Know How To Act, You're An Actor. You're About To Win An Award For, I Don't Know, Convincingly Playing That Venezuelan Nun Who Went To War. Now Act Like You Can Wear This Dress.".

Marriage Entitles Women To The Protection Of A Strong Man Who Will Steady The Stepladder While They Paint The Kitchen Ceiling.

I Prefer Dead Writers Because You Don't Run Into Them At Parties.