Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself.

Oh My God. I Thought I Was Going To Have An Aneurysm Right There In Line. Your Hair Smells Really Good? Your Hair Smells Really Good? Who Did He Think He Was? James Bond? You Don't Tell Someone Their Hair Smells Good. Not In A Mall.

I Realized Michael Was Right. I Mean, I Am Always Writing In This Journal. And I Do Compose A Lot Of Poetry, And Write A Lot Of Notes And Emails And Stuff. I Mean, I Feel Like I Am Always Writing. I Do It So Much, I Never Even Thought About It As A Talent. It's Just Something I Do All The Time, Like Breathing.

God, What If Tmz Got Hold Of The Truth About Me? What A Liar I Am, I Mean? What Kind Of Role Model Am I? I Make Vanessa Hudgens Look Like Mother Freaking Teresa. Minus The Whole Nudity Thing. Because I'm Not About To Take Naked Photos Of Myself And Send Them To My Boyfriend.

I Don't Do Alcohol. Or Other People's Boyfriends. And Don't You Forget It.

It’s My Own Fault, Really. For Believing In Fairy Tales. Not That I Ever Mistook Them For Actual Historical Fact, Or Anything. But I Did Grow Up Believing That For Every Girl, There’s A Prince Out There Somewhere. All She Has To Do Is Find Him. Then It’s On With The Happily Ever After. So You Can Only Imagine What Happened When I Found Out. That My Prince Really Is One. A Prince. No, I Really Mean It. He’s An Actual Prince.