Didn't Your Mother Ever Tell You," Rob

But Once I'd Come Up With It, I Realized It Really Was The Perfect Plan. Instead Of Waiting For Maria To Come To Me, I Was Simply Going To Go To Her And, Well... Send Her Back To Where She Came. Or Reduce Her To A Mound Of Quivering Gelatinous Goo. Whichever Came First.

I've Come To The Conclusion That, Aside From Nazis, The Taliban, And Possibly The Honey Badger, There Is No One On The Planet More Merciless Than A Teenage Girl Once She's Decided She Dislikes You.

Honey, Some Boys Stopped By To See You. They Had Wood.

I've Never Even Been To Long Island

Do Not Chase Boys. Chasing Boys Is Bad. Chasing Boys Can Lead To Horrible Things Like Mansions Going Up Into Flames, Hand Amputations, And Blindness. So Have Some Self Respect And Don't Let Things Get Too Far Before The Wedding Day.