Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, Is That Duck

The Netherworld Is Timeless And Unchanging, And Boring -- Much Like A Doctor's Waiting Room.

Like Most Beta Males, He Didn't Realize That Being A Good Guy Was Not Necessarily An Attraction To Women.

And I'll Have You Know That If You Hurt My Son Again, If He So Much As Sighs Sadly Over His Coffee, I Will Hire A Man, A Russian, Probably, To Hunt You Down And Rip All That Shiny Black Hair From Your Head, Then Break Your Skinny Arms And Legs, And Set You On Fire, And Then Put You Out With A Hammer. And Should There Be Children From Your Beastly Rutting, I Shall Have The Russian Man Cut Them To Tiny Pieces And Feed Them To Madame Jacob's Dog. Because, Although He May Be Only A Worthless, Simpleminded, Libertine Artist, Lucien Is My Favorite, And I Will Not Have Him Hurt. Do You Understand?

Actually, Orcas Aren't Quite As Complex As Scientists Imagine. Most Killer Whales Are Just Four Tons Of Doofus Dressed Up Like A Police Car.

Then Someone Started Pounding On The Door. And Not A Little "hey, What's Up?" Pound. Like There Was A Big Sale On Door Pounds Down At The Pound Outlet. Buy One, Get One Free At Pounds-n-stuff. --being The Journal Of Abby Normal