Caviler, N. A Critic Of Our Own

There's No Free Will," Says The Philosopher; "to Hang Is Most Unjust." "there Is No Free Will," Assents The Officer; "we Hang Because We Must.

The Palmist Looks At The Wrinkles Made By Closing The Hand And Says They Signify Character. The Philosopher Reads Character By What The Hand Most Loves To Close Upon.

Reality, N. The Dream Of A Mad Philosopher. That Which Would Remain In The Cupel If One Should Assay A Phantom. The Nucleus Of A Vacuum.

Digestion, N. The Conversion Of Victuals Into Virtues. When The Process Is Imperfect, Vices Are Evolved Instead - A Circumstance From Which That Wicked Writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, Infers That The Ladies Are The Greater Sufferers From Dyspepsia.

Human Nature Is Pretty Well Balanced; For Every Lacking Virtue There Is A Rough Substitute That Will Serve At A Pinch--as Cunning Is The Wisdom Of The Unwise, And Ferocity The Courage Of The Coward.