Caution: These Verses May Be Hazardous To

My Natural Instinct After Doing Something Shameful Is Not To Rush Into The Street Boasting About It But To Put On Dark Glasses And Head For The Next County, Hoping Nobody Notices I've Been In The Neighborhood.

Schoolteachers Seemed Determined To Persuade Me That 'classic' Is A Synonym For 'narcotic'.

Windows 95 Is What Rube Goldberg Would Have Designed If He'd Studied Cartooning At M.i.t.

Happiness Is A Small And Unworthy Goal For Something As Big And Fancy As A Whole Lifetime, And Should Be Taken In Small Doses.

So There He Is At Last. Man On The Moon. The Poor Magnificent Bungler! He Can't Even Get To The Office Without Undergoing The Agonies Of The Damned, But Give Him A Little Metal, A Few Chemicals, Some Wire And Twenty Or Thirty Billion Dollars And Vroom! There He Is, Up On A Rock A Quarter Of A Million Miles Up In The Sky.