Call Them Rules Or Call Them Limits,

There Are Many Things Children Accept As "grown-up Things" Over When They Have No Control And For Which They Have No Responsibility--for Instance, Weddings, Having Babies, Buying Houses, And Driving Cars. Parents Who Are Separating Really Need To Help Their Children Put Divorce On That Grown-up List, So That Children Do Not See Themselves As The Cause Of Their Parents' Decision To Live Apart.

People Have Said, 'don't Cry' To Other People For Years And Years, And All It Has Ever Meant Is, 'i'm Too Uncomfortable When You Show Your Feelings. Don't Cry.' I'd Rather Have Them Say, 'go Ahead And Cry. I'm Here To Be With You.'

It Is One Of The Paradoxes Of Parenting, And Often A Painful Paradox, That Even As Our Children Need Us For Love And Trust, They Also Need Us For Honest Differing. It's Not Only Over Limits And Rules...[but Also] About What We Represent In The Way Of Culture, Traditions, And Values. We Owe It To Our Children To Let Them Know What We Believe, And If They Differ With Us, We Owe It To Them To Be Honest Adversaries, For It Is Through This Honest Confrontation That Children Can Grow Into Adults Who Have A Firm Sense Of Their Place In The Sequence Of The Generations.

Mutual Caring Relationships Require Kindness And Patience, Tolerance, Optimism, Joy In The Other's Achievements, Confidence In Oneself, And The Ability To Give Without Undue Thought Of Gain.

Honesty Is Often Very Hard. The Truth Is Often Painful. But The Freedom It Can Bring Is Worth The Trying.