California Governor Gray Davis Visited An Elementary

This Osama Bin Laden Guy, Spoiled Rich Kid Worth $300m. I Have Three Words For This Guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We Send Her Over There, She'll Get His Money, He'll Be Dead In A Week.

American Forces In Iraq Found $650 Million In American Cash Sealed In A Hidden Cottage. See, This Is Why President Bush Wants To Invade Iraq, The Whole Place Is Oil And Cash. It's Like Republican Disneyland.

There Was Also Talk Of Bringing Al Gore To California To Help Out, But There Was Concern That Gray Davis And Al Gore In The Same State Would Cause Some Kind Of Rolling Personality Blackout.

Attorney General John Ashcroft Has Been Hospitalized. I Believe He Is Suffering From Homophobia. No, Actually, It Was Just Gallstones, But When They Gave Him The Hospital Gown That Opens In The Back, He Refused To Wear It, He Thought It Was A Gay Wedding Dress.

Congratulations To Mexico. They Upset Brazil To Win A Gold Medal In Men's Soccer. And After The Olympics Ended, The Mexican Soccer Team, Of Course, Returned Home To Their Houses Here In Los Angeles.