According To A Recent Survey, Men Say

Today, You Get Better Performance From A Ford Focus Than A Ferrari From The Mid-70s. [the Focus] Is Just As Fast And With Better Fuel Economy. It's Fun To See Supercar Technology Trickle Down To Everyday Cars.

Hillary Clinton's Opponent In The U.s. Senate Race, The Republican She's Going To Be Running Against, Has Been Married Three Times, Had An Affair With His Chief Of Staff, Had Two Kids With Her While Still Married To His Second Wife. This Is The First Time In History That A Clinton Is The 'family Values' Candidate.

John Kerry Suspended His Campaign For Five Days This Week In Honor Of President Reagan. And Right Now, He's Ahead In The Polls. How's That Make Him Feel? Disappears For A Week And He's Up In The Polls. What Else Can He Do Now But Go Into Hiding.

The French Announced Today That They Would Not Help Us Remove Saddam From Iraq. Well Duh! They Didn't Even Help Us Remove Hitler From France.

Nancy Pelosi Said That When It Comes To Cleaning Up Government, The Democrats Have Drained The Swamp. The Only Problem With That Is What's Left After You Drain The Swamp: Snakes Everywhere.