Born Again?! No, I'm Not. Excuse Me

The Average American's Day Planner Has Fewer Holes In It Than Ray Charles's Dart Board.

Bad Television Is Three Things: A Bullet Train To A Morally Bankrupt Youth, A Slow Spiral Into An Intellectual Void, And Of Course, A Complete Blast To Watch.

He Lasted About As Long As The Dessert Tray At Rosie O'donnell's House.

And By The Way, My Belief Is That If Men Were The Ones Getting Pregnant, Abortions Would Be Easier To Get Than Food Poisoning In Moscow.

Never Ever Discount The Idea Of Marriage. Sure, Someone Might Tell You That Marriage Is Just A Piece Of Paper. Well, So Is Money, And What's More Life-affirming Than Cold, Hard Cash?