Because I'm A Civil Rights Activist, I

You Got To Die Of Something Because If You Die Of Nothing, They Won't Pay Your Insurance.

The Funniest Jokes You Know Aren't From Comics But Relatives, Friends - From Your Life. That's The Funniest Stuff.

Audiences Feel No Hatred From Me. Because I'm Not Bitter.

I Went To Ethiopia, And It Dawned On Me That You Can Tell A Starving, Malnourished Person Because They've Got A Bloated Belly And A Bald Head. And I Realized That If You Come Through Any American Airport And See Businessmen Running Through With Bloated Bellies And Bald Heads, That's Malnutrition, Too.

I Would Never Teach A Child Of Mine To Be Kind To A Cop Who Would Shoot You In The Back Of The Head. I Would Never Have That Conversation Because Children Don't Hear What You Mean, They Hear What You Say.