Baseball Is The Only Major Sport That

I Noticed That All The Prayers I Used To Offer To God, And All The Prayers I Now Offer To Joe Pesci, Are Being Answered At About The Same 50% Rate. Half The Time I Get What I Want, Half The Time I Don't... Same As The Four-leaf Clover And The Horseshoe...same As The Voodoo Lady Who Tells You Your Fortune By Squeezing The Goat's Testicles, It's All The Same: 50-50. So Just Pick Your Superstition, Sit Back, Make A Wish, And Enjoy Yourself.

There Is A Planet Named Pluto, But We Don't Have One Named Goofy. Goofy Would Be A Good Name For This Planet. It Certainly Qualifies.

I'm Offering A Special Prize For The First Buick On The Moon.

The Next Time A Prostitute Solicits Your Business, Ask For The Clergyman's Rate.

Language Always Gives You Away.