At Some Point I Stopped Stand-up Because

Despite What The Wall Street Journal Says, Our Awards Are The Best-kept Secret In America, With The Possible Exception Of What George W. Bush Did In The '70s.

Kids Need A Happy Household. They Need To Be Loved And Supported In Their Dreams. And I Don't Think You Can Make Your Kids' Dreams Your Own. They Need You To Support Them In Their Dreams.

You Have To Really Respect What Your Kids Are Doing With Their Kids And How They're Raising Them. You Can't Push Your Way Into Areas Where You Shouldn't Be Saying Anything. You Have To Always Remember They're Not Your Own Kids. Play With Them, Love Them, Spoil Them To Death - Then Hand Them Back.

By The Time A Man Is Wise Enough To Watch His Step, He's Too Old To Go Anywhere.

Gentlemen, Start Your Egos!