Astronomers Have Discovered A Planet That Is

Al Jazeera Aired A New Tape Of Osama Bin Laden. It Was The Usual Stuff, He Called Bush Evil, The Great Satan, Called Him A War Monger. Basically, The Same Thing You Heard At Last Night's Democratic Debate.

President Obama And House Speaker John Boehner Have Agreed To Play A Round Of Golf Together. Imagine The Two Of Them At The End Of That Golf Game? Boehner Will Be Crying Over His Score And Obama Will Be Giving Three Explanations As To Why His Score Is Actually Better Than It Appears.

Geraldo Has Returned To The States. See? I Told You Airline Security Was A Joke.

My Stockbroker Asked Me Something Important Today: Paper Or Plastic?

If God Had Wanted Us To Vote, He Would Have Given Us Candidates.