As My Mom Has Said, When One

If It Weren't For My Imagination, I Would Weigh Ten Thousand Pounds. This Is Because The Only Way I Am Able To Exercise Anymore Is Through A Long And Vivid Revenge Fantasy.

People Take Things At Face Value On Social Media. Earnestness Is The Assumption.

In Real Life, Shouldn't A Wedding Be An Awesome Party You Throw With Your Great Pal, In The Presence Of A Bunch Of Your Other Friends? A Great Day, For Sure, But Not The Beginning And Certainly Not The End Of Your Friendship With A Person You Can't Wait To Talk About Gardening With The For The Next Forty Years.

In High School, I Had Fun In My Academic Clubs, Watching Movies With My Girlfriends, Learning Latin, Having Long, Protracted, Unrequited Crushes On Older Guys Who Didn’t Know Me, And Yes, Hanging Out With My Family. I Liked Hanging Out With My Family! Later, When You’re Grown Up, You Realize You Never Get To Hang Out With Your Family. You Pretty Much Have Only Eighteen Years To Spend With Them Full Time, And That’s It.

My Parents Were Supportive Of My Creativity But Did Not Have A Lot Of Patience For Whimsy With Zero Production Value. They Had Stuff To Do.