As An Irish Person, There's A Historical

Don't Clap I'm Not A Jazz Band For Christ's Sake.

It Should Not Be An Act Of Social Disobedience To Light A Cigarette. Unless You're Actually A Doctor Working At An Incubator.

I Used To Live With Two Other Guys. We Used To Cook Two Things. The First One Was Called 'cheese... Thing' And That Was Where You Get Something And You Melt Cheese Over It And The First One To Guess What It Is Doesn't Have To Wash Up. That's Obviously Quite Mediterranean; The Other One Was Less Complex. It Was Just Called 'cheese Fantasy.' That's Where You Come In, Very Drunk, At About Five In The Morning And Find An Apple And Just Pretend There's Some Cheese On It.

What Is Universal Can Be Surprising. Over Time You Find The Kind Of Stuff Which Has People Thinking 'that Is Just Something That Occurred To Me There's Something Wrong With Me', Is In Fact Stuff That Is Universal.

You Try Various Things When You're Growing Up. I Was An Attache In The Foreign Service For A While And Then I Drove A Bulldozer, But Neither Of Those Panned Out For Me So It Had To Be Stand-up.