As A Kid, I Didn't Read A

Things Can Be Funny When People Are Uneasy. It Softens Them Up And Stops Them Falling Asleep On The Sofa. I Like Those Moments Where People Half-smile And Half-wince.

A Lot Of Roles For People With Disabilities Are Quite Patronising. It's A Real Pity When They Are Just Used To Give Dull Pc Kudos To A Drama, Or When They're Wheeled On In A Tokenistic Way Without Any Real Involvement In The Plot.

I Suffer Depression Only In The Sense That I Am A Writer. We Don't Have Proper Jobs To Go To. We Are On Our Own All Day. Show Me A Writer Who Doesn't Get Depressed: Who Has A Completely Stable Mood. They'd Be A Garage Mechanic Or Something.

I Do Not Tell Lies. Mother Used To Say That This Was Because I Was A Good Person. But It Is Not Because I Am A Good Person. It Is Because I Do Not Tell Lie.

What Actually Happens When You Die Is That Your Brain Stops Working And Your Body Rots, Like Rabbit Did When He Died And We Buried Him In The Earth At The Bottom Of The Garden. And All His Molecules Were Broken Down Into Other Molecules And They Went Into The Earth And Were Eaten By Worms And Went Into The Plants And If We Go And Dig In The Same Place In 10 Years There Will Be Nothing Exept His Skeleton Left. And In 1,000 Years Even His Skeleton Will Be Gone. But That Is All Right Because He Is A Part Of The Flowers And The Apple Tree And The Hawthorn Bush Now.