As A Comic, I've Heard Gunshots While

You Need A Wisecracking Buddy Standing Next To You? That's The Role For Me. You Got The Guys Who Are Knock-down, Drag-out Handsome. That's What People Want To See. Let That Guy Be The Hero. But There's Always A Role For The Everyman.

Everybody Wants To Be A Better Version Of Themselves - Everybody. And I Hope One Day I Can Lose Some Weight. Maybe, Who Knows, I'll Hire Myself A Trainer And A Fancy Cook. In Five Years, Maybe I'll Be An Action Hero. Then Again, Maybe I'll Just Be This Guy. Who Knows? But The Fun Part Is Embracing The Human Side Of That.

Yeah, I've Done Jim Breuer's Radio Show A Couple Times, And I Heard From Larry The Cable Guy When I Got 'mike & Molly,' Wishing Me Congratulations. I'm Always The Last One To The Party, Man. But That's Okay. I Got There.

Stand-up Will Always Come First. I've Been Doing It For 22 Years, And Nothing Compares To That Connection You Have With The Audience. It's Euphoric.

I Have Been A Big Guy All My Life, I Am Not Going To Lose A Bunch Of Weight, Because Then You're Like That Weird Fat Person That Got Skinny But Still Has A Big Head. I Don't Want To Do That. So I'm Just Trying.