Anthony Weiner And His Wife, Huma, Have

There Are Reports On The News Tonight That Members Of The Taliban Feel Persecuted And Fear Their Own Safety. So Now They Know What It Is Like To Feel Like A Woman In Their Country.

According To Government Auditors, The Stimulus Money Is Being Held Up Because There Aren't Enough Government Workers To Oversee The Spending. So Follow Me, In Other Words, Government Workers Who Aren't There Are Needed To Spend Money We Don't Have To Create Jobs That Don't Exist.

There Was Also Talk Of Bringing Al Gore To California To Help Out, But There Was Concern That Gray Davis And Al Gore In The Same State Would Cause Some Kind Of Rolling Personality Blackout.

People Made A Big Deal Out Of The Fact This Is The First Time A Sitting President Has Done A Late-night Show. We Tried To Have Other Presidents On, But President Bush Went To Bed Every Night At 9:00. And President Clinton Always Seemed To Have Other Late-night Plans.

Today The United States Has Admitted That After Months And Months Of Searching, We Still Have No Idea Where Osama Bin Laden Is. Osama Bin Laden? We Can't Even Find Kenneth Lay.