List of Joseph Epstein Quotes

I Am Married To Someone I Love.

A Writer Can Get Into A Vast Deal Of Trouble Through Misquotation. If You Ever Want To Receive Lots Of Mail, I Recommend You Get A Shakespeare Quote Wrong In A Magazine Or Newspaper.

Food Has It Over Sex For Variety. Hedonistically, Gustatory Possibilities Are Much Broader Than Copulatory Ones.

One Serious Drawback About Letters Is That, In Order To Get Them, One Must Send Some Out. When It Comes To The Mail, I Feel It Is Better To Receive Than To Give.

I Am Afraid I Am One Of Those People Who Continues To Read In The Hope Of Sometime Discovering In A Book A Single—and Singular—piece Of Wisdom So Penetrating, So Soul Stirring, So Utterly Applicable To My Own Life As To Make All The Bad Books I Have Read Seem Well Worth The Countless Hours Spent On Them. My Guess Is That This Wisdom, If It Ever Arrives, Will Do So In The Form Of A Generalization.

I Am The Heterosexual Truman Capote.

The Reason 'closure' Is A Cliche Is That It Is Used Too Often, Too Imprecisely, And Doesn't In Any Case Reflect Reality. In Reality, Such Closure In Broken Friendships And Much Else In Life Is Rarely Achieved; Only Death Brings Closure And Then Not Always For Those Still Living.

The Pleasure Of Jogging And Running Is Rather Like That Of Wearing A Fur Coat In Texas In August: The True Joy Comes In Being Able To Take The Damn Thing Off.

I Should Prefer To Die Laughing, And, On More Than One Occasion, Thought I Might.

I Am Not Merely A Habitual Quoter But An Incorrigible One. I Am, I May As Well Face It, More Quotatious Than An Old Stock-market Ticker-tape Machine, Except That You Can't Unplug Me.

Many Moons Ago Dictionaries Of Quotations May Have Been Less Needed Than They Are Today. In Those Good/bad Old Days, People Walked Around With Entire Poems And All The Shakespearean Soliloquies In Their Heads.

I Know From The Middle Distance I Give Off The Look Of Being Prolific, Which Is A Funny Compliment To Receive.