And Stop Pointing That Beard At Me,

Hey, When I Said Work Fast, I Didn't Mean Your Friend, I Meant The Maid.

Given The Choice Between A Woman And A Cigar, I Will Always Choose The Cigar.

Quote Me As Saying I Was Mis-quoted.

I Hope They Bury Me Near A Strait Man

Marriage Is A Wonderful Institution, But Who Wants To Live In An Institution?