And I Realize That The Decision To

People Talk About The Beauty Of The Spring, But I Can't See It. The Trees Are Brown And Bare, Slimy With Rain. Some Are Crawling With New Purple Hairs. And The Buds Are Bulging Like Tumorous Acne, And I Can Tell That Something Wet, And Soft, And Cold, And Misshapen Is About To Be Born. And I Am Turning Into A Vampire.

I Can't Tell You How Irritating It Is To Be An Atheist In A Haunted House.

Its A Very 18th-century Thing To Have A Book Broken Into Several Volumes.

Older Teens Tend To Write To Me And Say, 'thank You For Not Writing Down To Teenagers.'

I Don’t Know. D’you Think? He’s Pretty Wide In The Chest.” The Girl Looked At Me, And I Was Frozen. So I Said, “yeah. I Work Out.” Violet Asked Me, “what Are You? What’s Your Cup Size?” I Shrugged And Played Along. “like, Nine And A Half?” I Guessed. “that’s My Shoe Size.” Violet Said, “i Think He’d Like Something Slinky, Kind Of Silky.” I Said, “as Long As You Can Stop Me From Rubbing Myself Up Against A Wall The Whole Time.” “okay,” Said Violet, Holding Her Hands Up Like She Was Annoyed. “okay, The Chemise Last Week Was A Mistake.