Americans Will Feed Anyone That's Not Close

The Taxpayers Are Sending Congressmen On Expensive Trips Abroad. It Might Be Worth It Except They Keep Coming Back

You've Got To Be (an) Optimist To Be A Democrat, And You've Got To Be A Humorist To Stay One

It Sure Did Kick Up Some Excitement In The Senate When One Senator Called The Other Senators 'sons Of Wild Jackasses.' Well, If You Thought It Made The Senators Hot, You Wait Till You See What Happens When The Jackasses Hear How They Have Been Slandered.

When I Die, My Epitaph Or Whatever You Call Those Signs On Gravestones Is Going To Read: "i Joked About Every Prominent Man Of My Time, But I Never Met A Man I Didn't Like." I Am So Proud Of That I Can Hardly Wait To Die So It Can Be Carved. And When You Come To My Grave You Will Find Me Sitting There, Proudly Reading It.

This Country Has Gotten Where It Is In Spite Of Politics, Not By The Aid Of It. That We Have Carried As Much Political Bunk As We Have And Still Survived Shows We Are A Super Nation.