It's Hard To Convince People That You're

And The Funny Thing Is, I've Always Been An Optimist - It's Practically A Congenital Disorder With Me.

Rank Imperialism And Warmongering Are Not American Traditions Or Values. We Do Not Need To Dominate The World.

I Don't So Much Mind That Newspapers Are Dying - It's Watching Them Commit Suicide That Pisses Me Off.

I Learned Two Things Growing Up In Texas. 1: God Loves You, And You're Going To Burn In Hell Forever. 2: Sex Is The Dirtiest And Most Dangerous Thing You Can Possibly Do, So Save It For Someone You Love.

The Founders Were Right All Along, But The Results Are A Lot Funnier Than They Intended.