American Politicians Do Anything For Money... English

In Ancient Times They Had No Statistics So They Had To Fall Back On Lies.

As For Politics, Well, It All Seemed Reasonable Enough. When The Conservatives Got In Anywhere, [judge] Pepperleigh Laughed And Enjoyed It, Simply Because It Does One Good To See A Straight, Fine, Honest Fight Where The Best Man Wins. When A Liberal Got In, It Made Him Mad, And He Said So,-not, Mind You; From Any Political Bias, For His Office Forbid It,-but Simply Because One Can't Bear To See The Country Go Absolutely To The Devil.

In Canada We Have Enough To Do Keeping Up With Two Spoken Languages ... So We Just Go Right Ahead And Use English For Literature, Scotch For Sermons, And American For Conversation.

We Think Of The Noble Object For Which The Professor Appears Tonight, We May Be Assured That The Lord Will Forgive Any One Who Will Laugh At The Professor.

Personally, I Would Sooner Have Written Alice In Wonderland Than The Whole Encyclopedia Britannica.