Alcohol May Be Man's Worst Enemy, But

Someone Said Drink The Water, But I Will Drink The Wine Someone Said Take A Poor Man, The Rich Don't Have A Dime Go Fool Yourself, If You Will, I Just Haven't Got The Time I'll Give You Back Your Water, And I Will Take The Wine.

May You Live To Be 100 And May The Last Voice You Hear Be Mine.

I Said To Mr. Pavarotti Once ... A Marvelous Man And A Great Artist ... I Said To Him ... "maestro, I'm Having Trouble Closing Out A Note So That It's Almost As Thin As A Butter Knife ... Finish It Out Quietly Like That." I Said, "i Have Trouble Doing That. What Do You Think I Should Do?" He Said, "justa Close Up Your Mouth." That's All He Said, And I Fell On The Floor. I Thought He Was Gonna Give Me A Dissertation.

The Only Male Singer Who I've Seen Besides Myself And Who's Better Than Me--that Is Michael Jackson.

Rock 'n Roll Smells Phony And False. It Is Sung, Played And Written For The Most Part By Cretinous Goons And By Means Of Its Almost Imbecilic Reiteration And Sly, Lewd, In Plain Fact, Dirty Lyrics ... Manages To Be The Martial Music Of Every Side-burned Delinquent On The Face Of The Earth.