Al Jazeera Aired A New Tape Of

Here's An Uplifting Story. Congratulations To The Little League Team From Huntington Beach, California. Yeah, They Beat Japan To Win The Little League World Series. That's Pretty Good. See, That Proves That When Math And Science Aren't Involved, Our Kids Can Beat Anybody.

We Are In A Code Orange. Homeland Security Said Earlier Today That Everyone Should Have A Roll Of Duct Tape And Plastic Sheeting To Protect Your House In Event Of Terrorist Attacks. Who Came Up With This Idea? Macgyver?

John Kerry Fell Off Of His Bicycle Over The Weekend. He Went For A Sunday Afternoon Ride, Fell Off In Front Of The News Media. Luckily, His Hair Broke The Fall So It's Not As Serious. ... Thankfully, Senator Kerry Was Not Seriously Injured. In Fact, When The Police Arrived, Kerry Was Well Enough To Give Conflicting Reports To The Officers About What Happened.

President Obama Was In India Yesterday Visiting Our Jobs. Tomorrow He Goes To China To Visit Our Money.

Last Night, John Mccain Said That Under The Democratic Health Care Plan, A Bureaucrat Would Stand Between You And Your Doctor, As Opposed To The Republican Health Care Plan, Where An Accountant Would Stand Between You And Your Health Care.