After I Got My First Laugh On

I Certainly Like The Rumour That I Was The Father Of Elizabeth Hurley's Baby. It Made Me Think I Could Impregnate Women In A Different Way To Everyone Else. Elizabeth And I Were Never Alone In A Room Together, So I Must Be A Very Powerful Man Indeed. Actually, I'm Thinking Of Suing The Baby!

The Thing Is, If I Don't Have Sobriety, I Don't Have Anything.

I Can Tell If Someone Is Talking To Me Because I'm On 'friends' Or Cause They Just Think I'm Neat. You Know I Don't Think I've Ever Spent More Than Five Or Ten Minutes With Somebody Who Was Ogling Me Because They Recognized Me From The Show.

I Went To A High School That Didn't Have Many People In It. There Were, Like, 60 People In My Senior Class. There Was A Group Of Cool Kids And A Group Of Really Dorky Kids, And I Was Probably The Coolest Of The Really Dorky Kids.

I Grew Up Babysitting And Always Enjoyed It. I Love Family. A Couple Of My Closest Friends Have Kids, And I'm Their Godfather, And That's One Of My Greatest Pleasures In Life, Just Picking Them Up From School And Hanging Out With Them.