According To Kim Jong-il's Biography, They Say

They Said These North Korean Missiles Had Enough Range To Hit Seattle, But Residents In Seattle Were Not Worried. Today Bill Gates Said Microsoft Has Enough Missiles To Destroy North Korea Ten Times Over.

America Online Customers Are Upset Because The Company Has Decided To Allow Advertising In Its Chat Rooms. I Can See Why: You Got Computer Sex, You Can Download Pornography, People Are Making Dates With 10 Year-olds. Hey, What's This? A Pepsi Ad? They're Ruining The Integrity Of The Internet!

We Pick Politicians By How They Look On Tv And Miss America On Where She Stands On The Issues. Isn't That A Little Backwards?

President Bush Was In Los Angeles Yesterday Where He Announced His New Campaign Theme - “safer, Stronger, And Tested.” Isn't That A Condom Ad?

Yesterday Gary Condit Spent The Whole Day Attending An Agricultural Meeting. Boy, That's When You Know A Congressman's In Real Trouble: When He Spends The Whole Day Actually Working.