A Sceptic Finds Dallas Absurd. A Cynic

On The Correctly Formed Pubescent Girl, A Speedo Looked Wonderful. When It Was Wet, It Was An Incitement To Riot.

Ban Poetry. And Make Sure That Anyone Caught Reading It Is Expelled From School. Then It Will Acquire The Glamour.

His Pear-shaped Head, I Could Now See, Was Situated On Top Of A Pear-shaped Body, Which His Black Gown Caused To Resemble A Piece Of Fruit Going To A Funeral.

When I Finally Embraced Abstinence It Was Because Of The Simple Urge To Work A Longer Day. Thus, Without Joining Alcoholics Anonymous, I Was At Last Able To Leave Piss-artists Notorious.

In Italy, For The Same Price As A Typical British Hamburger Meal Including Sweet, A Builder's Labourer Could Eat Like A King - Rather Better In Fact, Because Pasta Dishes Gain From Being Kept Simple.