A New Poll Shows That Senator Kerry's

Only Man Is A Narcissistic Enough Species To Think That A Highly Evolved Alien Life Force Would Travel Across Billions And Billions Of Light-years- A Group Of Aliens So Intelligent, So Insouciant, So Utterly Above It All, They Feel No Need Whatsoever To Equip Their Spacecraft With Windows So That They Can Gaze Out On All That Celestial Beauty-but Then Immediately Upon Landing, Their First Impulse Is To Get In Some Hick's Ass With A Flashlight.

I'm Left On A Lot Of Things. If Two Gay Guys Want To Get Married, I Could Care Less. If A Nut Case From Overseas Wants To Blow Up Their Wedding, That's When I'm Right.

I Don't Need To Be Born Again. I Got It Right The First Time.

In View Of All The Deadly Computer Viruses That Have Been Spreading Lately, Weekend Update Would Like To Remind You: When You Link Up To Another Computer, You're Linking Up To Every Computer That That Computer Has Ever Linked Up To.

Americans Stick Their Nose Where It Doesn't Belong More Than Cyrano De Bergerac Giving Head.