A New Cologne Is Coming Out. It's

New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker Last Night Personally Rescued A Woman From A Burning Building. Or As Fox News Reported It, 'black Man Loots House, Steals White Woman.'

Let's Face It; God Has A Big Ego Problem. Why Do We Always Have To Worship Him?

When The Tabloids Photograph Me When I'm Out, I Always Say: "you Know What, Folks? I'm Not Married And I'm Not Gay. You Caught Me With A Hot Chick. You Got Me. Take Me To Hot-chick Jail. Did It Again. Guilty."

People On The Right Say To People Like Me, Oh, You Hate America. And I Always Say, No, I Love America. I Want It Back. I Don't Want You Representing It. I Don't Want Torture Representing It. If I Hated It, I'd Be Okay With Being Represented By The Torturers.

Do You Want To Know Why Marijuana Is Illegal? Because The Drug Companies Want Marijuana To Be Illegal. You See, If It Came Down To Prozak Versus Marijuana, Prozak Would Lose.