A Lot Of People Think That Telling

There's Always Something New With Sex. We Lived In A World Without Viagra, Now We Live In A World With Viagra. We Lived In A World Without Blowjobs And Anilingus In The Oval Office, And Then It Happens And You Get To Write About It. We Live In A World Where Now The Government Is Screwing With Contraception And Holding Back Vaccines That Could Save 4,000 Women's Lives A Year, And You Get To Write About That. It's Not As Much Fun As Anilingus In The Oval Office, But What Are You Going To Do? If You Pay Attention, There's Always Something New, And It's Always Really Invigorating.

My Dad And Mom Were More Like World War Ii-era Parents, Even Though It Was The 1960s, Because They Were Both Born In The '40s. They Were Young Adults Before The '60s Even Happened, And Married, And Already Having Kids. But By The Time We Were Adolescents In The '70s, The Whole Culture Was Screaming At Parents, "you're A Good Parent If You're Open With Your Kids About Sex." They Attempted To Be Open With Us About Sex, And It Made Them Want To Die, And Consequently, It Made Us Want To Die.

Oh, My God. I'd Be A Terrible Doctor. I Don't Like To Touch Other People. There's A Lot Of Gruesome Stuff In My Line Of Work To Feel Or To Admit. I'm Sure Everyone's Expecting Me To Say "proctologist," But Actually No, I Don't Want To Be A Proctologist. Probably Want To Be A Dentist, Because You Don't Have To Touch Much Of The Other Person's Body, Just Their Face Or Mouth.

Ultimately Life Is Disease, Death And Oblivion. It's Still Better Than High School.

Every American May Have Equal Access To Ice Cream, But There's No Guarantee That The Outcome Of Eating Ice Cream Will Be Equal.