A Kid Came Up To Me The

I Had A Dream Once. I Wanted To Do A Line Of Cocaine Off A Hooker's Ass. That's When I Realized, 'hey, I'm Freakin' Zach Braff.' I Did It The Next Morning.

I Remember Once I Went To Go See A Movie, And In Front Of Me In Line There Was A Little Boy Who Looked So Eager To See It, Like It Was Christmas Morning. When He Got To The Ticket Booth It Turned Out There Was Only One Ticket Left; The Manager Was There And Wanted To Give It To Me Instead Since I Was Famous. That's When I Knew I'd Hit It Big.

I Think There Are Bound To Be Obstacles In Any Path To Success. I Mean, I'm Jewish, And There's Nothing I Can Do About That. Instead Of Sitting Around And Feeling Sorry For Myself, I Got Over It And Did Something With My Life.

I Donno, It's Not Impressive. Once I Put Ear Plugs In And Put A Blind Fold On For Like 14 Minutes And I Did Just Fine.

I'm Not Saying I Hate Jews, I'm Just Saying That I Think They Shouldn't Be Alive Any More.