A Circulating Library In A Town Is

Though I Never Scruple A Lie To Serve My Master, It Hurts One's Conscience To Be Found Out!

There Needs No Small Degree Of Address To Gain The Reputation Of Benevolence Without Incurring The Expense.

Here 's To The Maiden Of Bashful Fifteen; Here 's To The Widow Of Fifty; Here 's To The Flaunting, Extravagant Queen, And Here 's To The Housewife That 's Thrifty! Let The Toast Pass; Drink To The Lass; I 'll Warrant She 'll Prove An Excuse For The Glass.

I Open With A Clock Striking, To Beget An Awful Attention In The Audience - It Also Marks The Time, Which Is Four O Clock In The Morning, And Saves A Description Of The Rising Sun, And A Great Deal About Gilding The Eastern Hemisphere.

Wine Does But Draw Forth A Man's Natural Qualities.