You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly.

Once In A While I Get Inspired And Finish My Act With The Hillbilly Hoedown.

Mommy Smoked But She Didn't Want Us To. She Saw Smoke Coming Out Of The Barn One Time, So We Got Whipped.

When I'd Tell People I Like Country Music They'd Get This Look On Their Faces. People Were Kind Of Ashamed Of Country.

The Country Is Making A Big Mistake Not Teaching Kids To Cook And Raise A Garden And Build Fires.

Me And My Partner, Conway Twitty, Cleaned Up At The 1972 Country Music Association Awards.