You'd Much Rather Act With A Pal,

I Got An Agent. He Said, What Do You Wanna Do, And I Said, I Want An Oscar Nomination. That's Your Job, That's What I'm Paying You For. And I Got It.

All Modesty Aside, I Think I'm Good At Reading Scripts. The Way I Read A Script Is As Fast As I Can, All In One Sitting, And I Don't Read Many Of The Stage Directions. I Only Read Enough Stage Directions To Let Me Know Where I Am, Because They're Always So Verbose And Mostly Horseshit. So I Only Read The Dialogue, Which Allows Me To See The Movie In My Mind's Eye In Real Time.

Oh Yeah, That's The Holy Grail, Pirates Of The Caribbean. Johnny Depp, He's The Real Deal, Isn't He? He Doesn't Get The Girl, And He Doesn't Care.

You Can Skim Those Stage Directions And Go Right To The Dialogue. You Can Almost Read The Movie In The Same Amount Of Time It Will Take You To See The Movie.

I Do Love Comedy, But I'm Not Brave Enough To Tackle A Script Whose Goal Is To Make You Laugh. That's Tough. The Ones That Can Do It, I Tip My Hat Off To Them, But I Don't Have That Kind Of Humor Or Mind.