You Want To Help Gay Kids, You

I Get Letters Every Year From Women Who Think Valentine's Day Is An Empty Exercise, But Are Ironically Pretty Exercised When Their Boyfriends Neglect Or Forget It.

How Can You Tell Somebody Who Is Pursuing Happiness That They're Somehow Not American When That Was The Very First Promise That America Made?

Tv Commercials Make Parenting Look Like There Are Going To Be Good Days And Bad Days - Like, It'll Be This Gentle Wave, Like You'll Have A Blissed-out, Really Wonderful Day Or Two, And Then, You Know, Then You'll Have An Issue. And What Parenting Is, Is Kind Of Earthquake.

Really, When It Comes To Gay Rights, There's Two Wars Going On. The First War Is Political. But The Culture War Is Over.

Mother's Day Is A Torment If Your Mother Is Dead. Valentine's Day Is A Torment If You Don't Got One. And At Some Point In Our Lives, We Will Be Tormented By Valentine's Day Even If We're Relatively Lucky In Love.