You Know What, I Distinctly Remember My

I Have A Pathological Terror Of Falling Through Ice. I Nearly Drowned Once. I Fell Off A Boat And Got A Cramp, And Was Rescued By An Oil-rig Diver, A Great Bear Of A Man Who Simply Leant Into The Water And Scooped Me Out With One Finger.

That [pagani] Zonda, Really! It’s Like A Lion In Orange Dungarees. Kind Of Fierce, But Ridiculous All At The Same Time.

If The Scottish Want To Break Away, I Shall Stand On Hadrian's Wall With A Teary Handkerchief, And Say: 'good Riddance To The Lot Of You, And Take Your Stupid Bagpipes With You.'

Like Many Men, I Can Never Find Anything That I'm Looking For, Even When I'm Actually Looking At It. In A Fridge, I Think Milk Is Actually Invisible To The Male Eye. And So, It Turns Out, Are Dirty Great Holes In The Fence.

She Can Take A Year To Read Something, Whereas I Like A Book That Becomes More Important In My Life That Life Itself. When I Was In The Middle Of 'red Storm Rising' By Tom Clancy - Which Was Not Selected For The Man Booker Shortlist - You Could Have Taken My Liver Out And Fed It To The Dog. And I Wouldn't Have Noticed.