You Know, I Always Think Of Myself

I Remember Asking My Mom, "do You Think That I Will Ever Have Enough Money To Live Outside Of Your House?" And She Would Be Like, "you Just Never Know."

I Always Imagined That Having A Baby Is Something That I'm Going To Keep In A Private Place, But Maybe My Curse Is That All I'm Going To Want To Do Is Tell Everybody About What My Birth Process Was Like And What My Children's Nightmares Are.

But Ambition Is A Funny Thing: It Creeps In When You Least Expect It And Keeps You Moving, Even When You Think You Want To Stay Put.

I Actually Didn't Enjoy Being A Child Particularly At All Even Though I Had Nice Parents In A Comfortable Place To Live. Just Because I Was Too Confused In Generating Too Many Answers For Myself That Just Scared Me More.

Basically My New Litmus Test For People Is, Do They Make Me Hear About A Blow Job They Gave In The First Ten Minutes Of Us Talking? And If They Didn't Then I Can Feel Excited.