You Just Got To Be Really Logical

I Think All The Funny People Were Bullied. When They Talk About Outlawing Bullying, It's Like, What? You Want No Comedy Central?

You Know The World Is Messed Up When The Tallest Man In The Nba Is Chinese, The Best Golfer Is Black, And The Best Rapper Is White.

Even If You Meet The Perfect Person, It Ain’t Gonna Be At The Perfect Time. You’re Married, They’re Single. That’s Right. You’re Jewish, They’re Palestinian. You’re A Mexican, They’re A Raccoon. You’re A Black Woman, He’s A Black Man.

I'm Looking Forward To Not Being Tired Around My Child. My Father Was Tired A Lot. I Want To Play Ball With My Child Without Having To Grab My Shoulder Because I'm Not Physically Fit. And I Want To Really Teach My Child And Become His Or Her Friend.

The Only Acting You Ever See At The Oscars Is When People Act Like They’re Not Mad They Lost. Nicole Kidman Was Smiling So Wide, She Should Have Won An Emmy At The Oscars For Her Great Performance. I Was Like, "if You’d Done That In The Movie, You’d Have Won An Oscar, Girl."